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Hello March | Positive Self-Talk All Month Long

Today, I was listening to an old Super Soul episode of Oprah's where she has Bishop T.D Jakes on as a guest to discuss his new book at that time, "Instinct: The Power to Unleash Your Inborn Drive". What I found most interesting about this particular episode, is that each guest who expressed some sort of a problem was focused solely on the bad that happened in their life as the reason for why they made the decisions they made. They also carried a very negative connotation about themselves and how they view the world around them. Instead of looking forward to what's possible, they were engulfed by all that had happened in the past.

I found this comparison between the guests to be a very common normality. TD Jakes of course, did an amazing job explaining why it's so important to transform the way you think. He discussed the importance of the modeling we can be exposed to by those around us and how it can cripple you if those you surround yourself with are not going in the direction you'd like to be headed in. It's important to change your perspective on how you see life in general. If you go through life as the victim, that is what you will always be. Needless to say, the episode dropped some serious gems about transformation in general. In keeping with our 2020 Felder Official motto "Give yourself permission to bloom" , it's important that we look forward and focus on the good that lies ahead.


The 5 Love Languages are cool, but what about positive Self-Talk languages?

I think Dr. Gary Chapman has established something great with the five love languages and has even expanded them to fit different narratives for singles, couples, families, etc. I can't help but think of another kind of language that often gets misconstrued and often is miscommunicated, and that is the kind of self-talk language we have with ourselves. I decided to break down the different self-talk languages that we should adopt to improve our self-development and overall relationship with our inner being.

1) Self-Affirmations - This is a mantra, motto, scripture, or song verse that can be repeated on a daily basis as a small reminder that you are in fact worthy. That you are a part of this world for a reason and that you belong here as long as you have breath in your body. Your life has meaning and purpose. It is important to remember this simple phrase for the moments where self-doubt and fears begin to creep in to destroy your will to grow.

2) Self-Knowledge - How are you feeding your mental capacity? What's the vernacular your learning to use as it refers to how you're growing in this world. This is a practice of reading something for intellectual stimulation. Maybe it's a new vocabulary word every day, or it's an article in psychology today, it could even be a magazine or digital presence like #essence or #xonecole. The purpose self-knowledge serves is that you're feeding your brain it's daily dose of knowledge. We're no longer in grade school. If we don't find a means to keep us learning, we'll become stagnat as the world keeps moving.

3) Self-Love - Of course we're all familiar with the ways in which we can show ourselves love. I'd like to personally highlight taking care of your physical body and taking care of your spirit. For physicality, this could show up in the form of a work out, healthy diet, or taking a break from unhealthy food of choice. For spirituality, spend time with your creator, meditate, or spend some time in isolation from others to breathe. I think we all are capable of loving ourselves with little gifts here and there. However, some gifts dont have to be of monetary value.

4) Self-Investment - What's something you're doing right now to build your future? How are you ensuring that you are creating a legacy for those that come after you? Many people invest in themselves in so many different ways. Each way says, I believe in me and Im betting on myself to achieve greatness. Are you starting a business for longevity, are you going back to school to get a degree, are you purchaisng property, or investing in the markets? How are you showing up for yourself in financial stability? Even beginning to talk about your savings/retirment account or opening your very own savings. Show positive self talk by saying, I'm planning for my stability in the future. I think that's an excellent way to speak to yourself and prepare for the life ahead.

5) Self-Development- I know you may be thinking "how is self-develpment different from anything in the aformentioned list?" In actuality it's not, but rather a culmination of all that's been discussed and adding this one essential layer - Experiential Learning. One of the funnest ways to have positive self talk, growth, develope, invest etc is to immerse yourself in something brand new. Wether that be a hobby, a new language, a new sport, a new organization, a new civic engagment... they all serve one purpose: to improve self development through experiential learning. When was the last time you were new at something? Those feelings of uncertainty, feeling your way through, trial and error all contribute to increaed self-development. So give it a try!

Positive self-talk is the most important language to have. Otherwise we allow doubt and fear to creep in and detour us from the things we really desire to achieve. Hopefully this list will help you in your own life and the many relationships that are around you.


Felder Official Bookstore - Gratitude Journals are Here!

"My mind is emptied, therefore my heart is full" - Jade M. Felder

For anyone who likes to write, reflect, plan, and document... the Felder Official Journals are the perfect tool. I love to look back over what I've written in the past few years to see just how far I've come. I think journaling is so therapeutic. It really does give me a sense of relief after a long stressful day. Grab your Journals on #Amazon or click the journal picture below! Be on the look out for more self-development tools to hit the Felder Official Bookstore soon.


Felder Official Latest Book Review

"Understanding the Purpose and Power of a Woman" by Dr. Myles Munroe


Scripture for the Road

"God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another" 1 Peter 4 NLT.

I hope the month of March is a time for improving how you treat yourself and others. I hope you use the gifts God has given you to focus on what you can do to serve others what ever it may be. I hope that this month brings clarity in any area that feels fuzzy and confusing. I hope you spring forward, looking to what's to come, not focusing on what has happened in the past. I pray you see the value in your life and make all the necessary decisions to improve your self-developement.

Happy March!



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